Star Trek insignia, high school skit. I was Spock. My friend’s dad had written the parody script for a fanzine, never expecting it to be performed. An excerpt, paraphrased from poor memory:
KIRK: Spock, what took you so long?
SPOCK: I was in the head, Captain. The sudden movement of the ship caused me to urinate 60% in the bowl, 23% on the rim, and 14% onto the floor.
KIRK: Ah, Spock, I’ve got you this time. That doesn’t add up to 100%.
SPOCK: Correct, Captain. The remaining 3% ran down my pant leg.
The audience went wild for our costumes, authentic sound effects, and battle lurching, but we went on a bit too long; we’d have been smarter to cut it short after scene 1.